Ndoa, Mitara na Kanisa la Orthodox

 

Ndoa ya Waorthodoksi Tanzania (kutoka hapa)

Sw.wikipedia
 

Kiongozi wa kabila la Toba 

na wake zake, 1892.

Mitara (au Upoli au Upali) ni hali ya watu zaidi ya wawili kuishi katika uhusiano wa kindoa.
Hali hiyo ilikuwa ya kawaida barani Afrika, ambapo mwanamume mmoja aliweza kuwa na wanawake zaidi ya mmoja, lakini kwa sasa inazidi kupungua.
Ya nadra zaidi ni hali ya wanaume kadhaa kuchanga mwanamke mmoja.
Baadhi ya nchi zinakubali hali hiyo, lakini nyingi zinaikataza.
Vilevile baadhi ya dini zinakubali mitara, hususan Uislamu, lakini nyingine zinaikataza, hususan Ukristo.
Katika Biblia tunakuta maendeleo ya ufunuo kuhusu hali hiyo kati ya Agano la Kale na Agano Jipya. 

Marejeo hapa.

Ndoa ya Wakristo ("kama Kristo naye alivyolipenda Kanisa")

Sw.wikipedia / Ndoa (sakramenti)
 

“Siku ya tatu palikuwa na arusi huko Kana, mji wa Galilaya; naye mama yake Yesu alikuwepo. Yesu naye alikuwa amealikwa arusini pamoja na wanafunzi wake” (Picha kutoka hapa)

Ndoa kati ya wabatizwa wawili inahesabiwa na Kanisa Katoliki na Waorthodoksi kama mojawapo kati ya sakramenti saba zilizowekwa na Yesu Kristo.

Pamoja na Daraja takatifu ni kati ya sakramenti mbili za kuhudumia ushirika.

Fumbo la ndoa

Kadiri ya mpango wa Muumba, ndoa halisi ina sifa tatu: umoja, uimara na utayari wa kuzaa. “Hamkusoma ya kwamba yeye aliyewaumba mwanzo, aliwaumba mtu mume na mtu mke, akasema, ‘Kwa sababu hiyo, mtu atamwacha babaye na mamaye, ataambatana na mkewe, na hao wawili watakuwa mwili mmoja?’ Hata wamekuwa si wawili tena, bali mwili mmoja. Basi aliowaunganisha Mungu, mwanadamu asiwatenganishe” (Injili ya Mathayo 19:4-6). “Mungu akawabarikia, Mungu akawaambia, ‘Zaeni, mkaongezeke, mkaijaze nchi, na kuitiisha’” (Mwanzo 1:28). Mitara, uzinifu, talaka, ushoga na kukataa uzazi ni kinyume cha mpango huo.
Muungano usiovunjika mpaka kufa kati ya mwanamume mmoja na mwanamke mmoja waliobatizwa, ambao unafanyika kwa makubaliano yao ya hiari ambayo yanathibitishwa na Mungu anayewatia neema zinazohitajika waweze kutimiza malengo ya ndoa, ni ishara ya muungano wa kiarusi wa Yesu na Kanisa.
Yesu aliweka sakramenti ya ndoa kwa sababu ya umuhimu wa familia kwa ustawi wa mume na mke, watoto, jamii na ufalme wa Mungu, na kwa sababu ya uzito wa majukumu yanayohusika. “Siku ya tatu palikuwa na arusi huko Kana, mji wa Galilaya; naye mama yake Yesu alikuwepo. Yesu naye alikuwa amealikwa arusini pamoja na wanafunzi wake” (Injili ya Yohane 2:1-2), akaleta divai bora ya ndoa sakramenti badala ya ndoa ya kimaumbile. Hivyo ametuandalia neema tuweze kushinda “ugumu wa mioyo” (Mathayo 19:8) unaohatarisha daima uzuri wa mpango wa Mungu kuhusu upendo mwaminifu katika ndoa. “Mungu aliona kila kitu alichokifanya, na tazama, ni chema sana” (Mwanzo 1:31).



Ndoa ya Waorthodoksi Bujumbura (kutoka hapa)

Adhimisho la sakramenti ya ndoa

Ndoa ya Wakristo ni sakramenti ya Yesu na Kanisa lake. “Njoo huku, nami nitakuonyesha yule Bibi arusi, mke wa Mwanakondoo” (Ufu 21:9). Wakiwa na ndoa halisi, mume na mke waliobatizwa ni ishara wazi ya hao wanaarusi wawili wasioonekana. “Kama vile Kanisa limtiivyo Kristo, vivyo hivyo wake nao wawatii waume zao katika kila jambo. Enyi waume, wapendeni wake zenu, kama Kristo naye alivyolipenda Kanisa, akajitoa kwa ajili yake” (Ef 5:24-25). Ndiyo sababu Mkatoliki hawezi kufunga ndoa bila ya kuhusisha Kanisa na kufuata taratibu zake.
Kwa kawaida Wakatoliki wanaiadhimisha wakati wa Misa, karamu ya arusi ya Mwanakondoo na Kanisa, lakini wanakubali katika mazingira ya pekee iweze kufungwa na wanaarusi mbele ya mashahidi wawili hata bila ya kuwepo padri .
Kumbe Waorthodoksi wanahesabu baraka ya padri kuwa sehemu ya lazima ya sakramenti, ambayo wanaarusi wanapewa.

Kubariki ndoa kwa Waprotestanti

Martin Luther aliona sakramenti sharti iwe alama iliyowekwa na Yesu Kristo mwenyewe, lakini ndoa ni sehemu ya utaratibu wa uumbaji uliotangulia kuja kwa Yesu.
Kwa sababu hiyohiyo Waprotestanti wengi hawakubali ndoa kuwa sakramenti na wanabariki tu ndoa iliyofungwa kufuatana na sheria za dola.

Ndoa ya Waorthodoksi Madagascar (kutoka hapa)

 

Tunaelewa kuwa mtu wa Kiafrika na wake wengi anaweza kuwapenda wote. Tunaheshimu hii. Lakini katika Agano la Kale, Mungu aliumba jozi la kwanza la watu, mtu mmoja na mwanamke mmoja tu, Adamu na Hawa. Hii inathibitisha kwamba mwanamume na mwanamke ni wa thamani sawa. Pia inathibitisha kuwa ndoa pekee ambayo Mungu anapenda kweli, ni ndoa kati ya mtu mmoja na mwanamke mmoja.
Kwa hiyo, katika Kanisa la Orthodox, ambalo anakupenda mwanadamu (mwanamume na mwanamke) sana, mitara haiwezi kukubalika.

Bibi na arusi wakati wa harusi Waorthodoksi (hapa)

Ona pia

Polygamy in Africa and Orthodox Church
Orthodox Women Saints (picha)
Orthodoxes chrétiens Mariages en Afrique 
Which One Should I Deny? / "Leave, you who loves him more..." - A True Story from the Years of the Missionary Fr. Cosmas Grigoriatis
Theotokos
Wanawake wa Afrika 
Femmes Africaines
African Women

Male and Female Created He Them  

Wakristo Orthodox ya Afrika 
Kanisa la Orthodox na Kanisa Katoliki  
KUTAFUTA IMANI LAKUNYOLOKA – AMA KI ORTHODOKSI  

 Ndoa ya Waorthodoksi Pwani ya Pembe (kutoka hapa - video hapa)

Polygamy in Africa and Orthodox Church

Polygamy In Africa

Polygamy.com

The polygamy has existed in all over the African continent thanks to the fact that it represents an aspect of their culture and religion. These types of marriages have been more present in the whole history of Africa like no other continent in the world. One of the reasons why this has happened is because the African societies have managed to see that children were a form of wealth and this way a family with more children was considered to be more powerful. Under these circumstances the polygamy in Africa was considered to be part of the way you could build an empire.
Only after the colonial era in Africa has appeared the polygamy has started to be perceived as a taboo, as this was one of the things imported along with the colonists that took over some regions of Africa. Some people are saying that there was also an economic reason why this has happened: there were many issues of property ownership that conflicted a lot with the European colonial interest.
At first the polygamy was very popular in the west part of Africa, but as the Islam has started to diffuse in this region, the prevalence of polygamy has started to continuously reduce due to the restrictions that appeared to the number of wives.
For example polygamy is very widespread across Kenya and right now one of the most prominent single individual that is popularizing this practice is Akuku Danger who as managed to become famous thanks to the fact that he is married with over 100 wives.

Even if people are thinking about the fact that South Africa is by far one of the most developed countries in the region, there are still many traditionalists out there that are constantly practicing polygamy. Even the president of South Africa: Jacob Zuma is declaring openly that he agrees with plural marriages and he is currently married to 3 wives. And at the same time he has 20 children with these and the two previous wives that he had in the past.
Another country where the polygamy is accepted is Sudan. Under these circumstances the Sudanese president: Omar Hassan al-Bashir has always sustained polygamy and he says that these multiple marriages are one of the options available for Sudan in order to increase its population.
Overall the polygamy in Africa is a very common practice that you are going to find all over Africa, but it tends to be more popular especially in the West African countries. This practice is very common among the animist and the Muslim communities. For example in Senegal there are almost 47% of the marriages where they feature more than one woman. In the Arab nations the percentages are even higher and there is also the Bedouin population that you can find in Israel, where around 30% of them are part of multiple marriages. And along with all that there are also the Mormon fundamentalists who also live in polygamous families.

Orthodox Christian Marriage & Polygamy

The Wedding at Cana (from here)

"Anyone married in the Orthodox Church knows that the prescribed Gospel reading for the service is John 2:1-11, the Marriage at Cana of Galilee.  This reading captures the joy of the Sacrament of Matrimony, for we believe that as Christ was present in Cana, He is now present at every marriage within the Church, blessing and sanctifying this new union between a man and a woman.  (The Church has never known or recognized – and never will know or recognize as “marriage”—any other kind of “union” besides that of a man and a woman).  Only that which is “according to nature” is blessed within the Church.  The celebrant of the service makes the connection between the marriage at Cana and every marriage within the Church by the following prayer after the crowns are removed:  “O God, our God, Who didst come to Cana of Galilee, and didst bless there the marriage feast:  Bless also these Thy servants, who through Thy good providence now are united in wedlock.  Bless their goings out and their comings in.  Fill their life with good things.  Receive their crowns into Thy Kingdom, preserving them spotless, blameless, and without reproach, unto ages of ages..." (from here)

Note of our blog:
We understand that an African man with many wives might love them all. We respect this. But in the Old Testament, God created a first pair of people, one man and only one woman, Adam and Eve. This proves that the man and the woman are of equal value. It also proves that the only marriage that God truly loves, is the marriage between one man and one woman.
That is why, in the Orthodox Church, which loves human (man and woman) very much, polygamy can not be accepted.

A part from the article Orthodox Christian Marriage

Orthodox Christianity is a way of life, not merely something we do on Sunday mornings and quickly forget when we leave church. A way of life is a whole coming together of habits and attitudes, ideas and actions: a style of life, a way to live. For us Orthodox, Christianity is our daily bread. Like a fish in water, we must swim in our Faith. As followers of Christ, we take our whole direction from Christ and His Church, and not from the standards of today's world. This seems clearest when we visit a monastery, where the environment, the atmosphere, the focus of life—everything is clearly and deliberately Orthodox.
Most of us Orthodox Christians do not live in monasteries; we are married; we have homes, children, jobs. Among many married Orthodox there exists the mistaken idea that their following Christ does not require the same dedication required of the Orthodox monastic. But of course all Christians, whether monastic or not, are equally called by Christ to repentance and eternal salvation. There are no "classes" of Orthodox Christians—all are equal and all are expected to be followers of Christ, regardless of their position in the Church.
It is, however, very difficult for us non-monastic Christians to live an Orthodox life-style from day to day and year to year because we are constantly exposed to and live within a society that is not only not Christian but even at times, and increasingly, hostile to Orthodox Christian beliefs. But this should not discourage us, for Christ Himself understood this situation when He said: Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; be wise as serpents and innocent as doves (Matt. 10:16).
A tremendous bastion of strength for Orthodox lay people in our circumstances is marriage and family life, a state that has been blessed by God for the salvation of each individual member of the family. In order fully to understand this, we must look at the doctrinal foundations of marriage found in Scripture and Sacred Tradition—which are the on-going conscience of the Church. 

Orthodox Marriage in Madagascar (from here)

The Old Testament and the New Testament Views of Marriage

When we look at the practice of marriage, family life, and multiplication of the human race as described in the Old Testament, we are immediately aware of the fact that great emphasis was placed on the continuation of the Hebrew race. We have endless family trees given to us in the Old Testament.
But marriage was not the only way by which the race was continued at that time. Children were also begotten through the custom of concubinage and the practice of having a man marry the widow of his brother, even though he might already have a wife. We read that Solomon, for example, "had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines," and the Old Testament records that King David "took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem after he came from Hebron; and more sons and daughters were born to him." Many of the great personages of the Old Testament had multiple wives and concubines. This emphasis on perpetuating the race seems to us extreme, and the methods of doing so seem almost bizarre. However, the primary reason for all of this mating was not the gratification of lust, but the desire for descendants. Sexual promiscuity was in no wise condoned by God in Old Testament times any more than He condones it in our own times.
But during Old Testament times, God began to reveal to man what His expectations were. Gradually we see that God condemned polygamous marriages, concubines, and the practice of marrying one's brother's widow. He began to shift the focus of marriage from procreation to a higher, spiritual level. Finally, God made His intentions very clear by the way He dealt with people who were involved in illicit sex. To us, who consider ourselves so "cultured" and "educated," and "sophisticated," God's actions might seem to be very harsh. But He was trying to make plain that He was the ultimate source of life, not the physical union of a man and a woman. And where God is, there can be only holiness, and mystery. What procreates and perpetuates life cannot be anything but a mystery. And holiness and mystery must be protected, guarded, and preserved against blasphemy, uncleanness, and irreverence. The way in which God dealt with sexual transgressions and perversions in the Old Testament makes it very clear that marriage is an extremely wonderful and holy mystery—so holy and mysterious, that any kind of sexual transgressions is an abomination in God's sight, and to be avoided at all costs. But the sexual aspects of marriage will be considered later.

Orthodox Marriage in Dolisie, Republic of Congo (from here)

With the coming of Christ, marriage no longer had as its primary goal the reproduction of human beings and the perpetuation of a family line, although procreation was still regarded as an important part of marriage. But Christ had come to the world and brought with Him the proof and guarantee of the resurrection of the dead, therefore giving to Christian marriage a new primary goal—the attainment of eternal life by husband, wife, and all children.
The marriage service in the Orthodox Church begins with the words, "Blessed is the Kingdom, of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen." This exclamation emphasizes the seriousness of marriage, and also the goal of marriage. According to the church canons, those Orthodox Christians who marry outside the Church are deprived of the sacraments of the Church. Some people find this shocking; they feel the Church is being too harsh. But the question is: What gives validity to marriage? From a spiritual standpoint, what gives meaning to a marriage? Unlike the wedding ceremonies in most non-Orthodox churches, marriage in the Orthodox Church is not a contract—a legal agreement with the exchange of vows or promises— between two people. Rather, marriage is the setting up, by two people, of a miniature church, a family church, wherein people may worship the true God and struggle to save their souls. It is also a family church that is in obedience to Christ's Church. As Saint Basil the Great says, it is natural to marry, but it must be more than natural; it must be a yoke, borne by two people under the Church.
Thus we see that in New Testament times the focus of marriage was switched from a primary purpose of producing children, to a primary purpose of providing a way for human beings to save their souls. The wedding ceremony itself is filled with rich symbolism that makes this whole aspect of marriage very clear.

The Great Sacrament of Marriage in the Orthodox Church

OrthodoxWiki

Marriage (also matrimony) is one of the holy mysteries or sacraments in the Orthodox Church, as well as many other Christian traditions. It serves to unite a woman and a man in eternal union before God with the purpose of following Christ and His Gospel and raising up a faithful, holy family through their holy union. It is referred to extensively in both the Old and New Testaments. Christ declared the essential indissolvibility of marriage in the Gospel. 

Orthodox Marriage in Uganda (from here)

  
Holy Matrimony

Married life, no less than monastic life, is a special vocation, requiring a particular gift or charisma from the Holy Spirit, a gift bestowed in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. The same Trinitarian mystery of unity in diversity applies to the doctrine of marriage as it does to the Church. The family created by this sacrament is a small church.

The Orthodox Church teaches that man is made in the image of the Trinity, and he is not intended by God to live alone, but in a family, except in special cases. And just as God blessed the first family, commanding Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, so the Church now gives its blessing to the union of man and woman. The mystery of marriage, in the Church, gives a man and a woman the possibility to become one spirit and one flesh in a way which no human love can provide by itself. The Holy Spirit is given so that what has begun on earth is fulfilled and continues most perfectly in the Kingdom of God.

*** 

Orthodox Marriage in Burundi (from here)  

All Saints Orthodox Church
Excerpt from "The Orthodox Faith" by Protopresbyter Thomas Hopko:

In the sacrament of marriage, a man and a woman are given the possibility to become one spirit and one flesh in a way which no human love can provide by itself. In Christian marriage the Holy Spirit is given so that what is begun on earth does not “part in death” but is fulfilled and continues most perfectly in the Kingdom of God.
For centuries there was no particular ritual for marriage in the Church. The two Christians expressed their mutual love in the Church and received the blessing of God upon their union which was sealed in the holy eucharist of Christ. Through the Church’s formal recognition of the couple’s unity, and its incorporation into the Body of Christ, the marriage became Christian; that is, it became the created image of the divine love of God which is eternal, unique, indivisible and unending.
When a special ritual was developed in the Church for the sacrament of marriage, it was patterned after the sacrament of baptism-chrismation. The couple is addressed in a way similar to that of the individual in baptism. They confess their faith and their love of God. They are led into the Church in procession.
They are prayed over and blessed. They listen to God’s Word. They are crowned with the crowns of God’s glory to be his children and witnesses (martyrs) in this world, and heirs of the everlasting life of his Kingdom. They fulfill their marriage, as all sacraments are fulfilled, by their reception together of holy communion in the Church.
There is no “legalism” in the Orthodox sacrament of marriage. It is not a juridical contract. It contains no vows or oaths. It is, in essence, the “baptizing and confirming” of human love in God by Christ in the Holy Spirit. It is the deification of human love in the divine perfection and unity of the eternal Kingdom of God as revealed and given to man in the Church.

Orthodox Marriage in Guatemala (from here)

Marriage As a Path to Holiness: Lives of Married Saints, 20th Anniversary Edition: Revised and Expanded Paperback – 2013

by David Ford & Mary Ford 

amazon.com

This new expanded and revised 20th anniversary edition includes the lives of over 180 married saints. Also of interest is the extensive Introduction, in which the authors present a summary of the consensus understanding of marriage in the Orthodox Tradition, using many quotations from various saints. This 20th anniversary edition is further enhanced by twenty-four illustrations, sixteen of which were expressly commissioned for this book and which include saints not commonly depicted.

"Drawing on that rich but often neglected source, the Lives of the Saints, this book provides us with a representative selection of models, of icons in words, to encourage us on our own journey to the kingdom, whether we are married or not... What is striking first of all about the examples chosen is their diversity. They are spread in time across nearly four thousand years, from the Old Testament era up to our own day. In space they extend no less widely: from Persia in the east to Alaska in the west, from Egypt in the south to England in the north.... In each case the story has been told in a simple but vivid style, with frequent quotations from the original sources and from the liturgical texts.... And, whether we are married, monastics or single, as we look at the living icons of the Holy Trinity on the pages that follow, may we all of us be brought to a deeper appreciation of this 'great mystery' (Ephesians 5:32)."

Married Saints of the Church

Married saints in the Orthodox Church are too many, since the foundation of Christianity. Few of them are:

Saints Basil the Elder and Emelia, whos had nine children, among them Saints Basil the Great of Caesarea and Gregory of Nyssa.
Saints Joachim and Anna, the parents of Mother of God, grandparents of Jesus Christ.
Saints Zacharias and Elizabeth, the parents of saint John the Forerunner.
Saints Timothy and Maura the Great Martyrs in Egypt
Saints Adrianos and Natalia (icon)
Saints Galaction and Episteme 
Saints Great Martyrs Eustathius Placidas, his wife Theopiste, and their children, Agapius and Theopistus 
Saints Zoe & Hesperus, and their children Cyriacus & Theodulus 
Saints Xenophon, His Wife Maria, and their sons John and Arcadius

And so many others...

See also

Orthodox Women Saints (icon)
Orthodoxes chrétiens Mariages en Afrique 
Which One Should I Deny? / "Leave, you who loves him more..." - A True Story from the Years of the Missionary Fr. Cosmas Grigoriatis
Theotokos
Femmes Africaines
African Women

Male and Female Created He Them  

The African Woman & the role of Woman in Orthodox Church: she must become the light of the world  

Union of Orthodox Church Mothers in Uganda  

When the Orthodox Church celebrates pregnancy...  

Third Sunday of Pascha: Sunday of the Holy Myrrhbearers (&: Mothers conference in Orthodox Diocese of Kisumu, Kenya) (photo) 

Sunday of the Samaritan woman (5th Sunday of Pascha): "Close to God is he who in his daily life becomes the light of Christ who enlightens his neighbours..."

    

Orthodoxes chrétiens Mariages en Afrique

 

Orthodoxes chrétiens Mariages en Tanzanie. Le prêtre est l'évêque Jérôme. Photo d'ici.

Fr.Orthodoxwiki

Le Mariage est un des sept sacrements de l'Église Orthodoxe. Par le mariage, un homme et une femme sont unis devant Dieu, dans l'amour mutuel, afin de vivre la vie commune de la famille chrétienne. Le mariage chrétien est indissoluble, pour toute la vie, comme Jésus Christ le dit dans son Évangile (Mathieu 5, 31-32 et Mathieu 19, 3-12).

L'union dans le Saint Mariage

La vie mariée n'est pas moins que la vie monastique, une vocation spécifique, requérant un don particulier, ou charisme, du Saint Esprit, don octroyé dans le Saint Sacrement du Mariage. Le mystère Trinitaire de l'unité dans la diversité s'applique à la doctrine du mariage, comme il le fait pour l'Église : une communion sans fusion, respectant la différence des personnes. La famille créée par ce Sacrement est une petite église.
L'Église Orthodoxe enseigne que l'homme est créé à l'image de la Trinité, et que Dieu ne l'a pas voulu vivant seul, mais en famille, sauf dans des cas spéciaux. A l'image de Dieu bénissant la première famille, commandant à Adam et Eve de porter du fruit et de se multiplier, l'Église donne à présent sa bénédiction pour l'union d'un homme avec une femme. Le Sacrement du mariage Chrétien, dans l'Église, donne à un homme et à une femme la possibilité de devenir un seul esprit et une seule chair d'une manière qu'aucun amour humain ne pourrait réaliser. Le Saint Esprit est donné de sorte que ce qui a été commencé sur terre s'accomplisse et continue de manière plus parfaite dans le Royaume de Dieu.

Mariage orthodoxe en Côte-d'Ivoire. Photo d'ici. Voir aussi ici.

Le sacrement

Le mariage est un sacrement et non la simple bénédiction d'une union, encore moins la simple reconnaissance formelle, "officielle" d'une union déjà pré-existante. Ceci montre la spécificité du mariage à l'égard des autres actes de la vie quotidienne, pour lesquels nous avons toujours besoin d'une bénédiction et d'une aide spirituelle. "Car un sacrement (...) implique nécessairement l'idée d'une transformation, se réfère à l'évènement ultime de la mort et de la résurrection du Christ, est toujours un sacrement du Royaume."^[1] Le fait que le mariage soit est sacrement, montre que l'Église y voit l'un de ces actes par lesquels Dieu nous transforme, nous aide à participer de sa nature divine. Le mariage à l'Église ne signifie donc pas le simple engagement à respecter un ensemble de règles sur comment bien gérer, raisonnablement, une vie de couple (morale sexuelle, épargne, etc.), mais plus profondément la participation, la réception d'une grâce donnée par Dieu.
Sans cette grâce, "le mariage, comme tout le reste dans ce monde, est un mariage déchu et dévié, et (...) il a besoin, non point d'être bénit et "solennisé" - après répétition de la cérémonie et avec l'aide du photographe - mais d'être restauré. De plus, cette restauration est dans le Christ, ce qui veut dire, dans sa vie, sa mort, sa résurrection, son ascension, dans l'inauguration pentecostale du "nouvel éon", dans l'Église comme le sacrement de tout ceci. Finalement, cette restauration transcende infiniment l'idée de la famille chrétienne et confère au mariage ses dimensiosn cosmiques et universelles."^[2]
Selon ce point de vue, le mariage ne concerne pas seulement ceux qui se marient, mais engage aussi l'Église, et concerne par elle le monde entier. 

Mariage orthodoxe à Madagascar. Photo d'ici & ici.

Le modèle de l'amour conjugal : Christ et l'Église

Dans l'Ancien Testament déjà, la relation entre Dieu et Israël est exprimé dans les termes de l'amour conjugal. Dans l'Épître aux Éphésiens (5, 22-32), saint Paul affirme la correspondance entre l'union dans le mariage de l'homme et de la femme en une seule chair, et le grand mystère de l'union du Christ à son Église : "Maris, aimez vos femmes, comme Christ a aimé l’Église, et s’est livré lui-même pour elle, afin de la sanctifier par la parole, après l’avoir purifiée par le baptême d’eau, afin de faire paraître devant lui cette Église glorieuse, sans tache, ni ride, ni rien de semblable, mais sainte et irrépréhensible. C’est ainsi que les maris doivent aimer leurs femmes comme leurs propres corps. Celui qui aime sa femme s’aime lui-même. Car jamais personne n’a haï sa propre chair ; mais il la nourrit et en prend soin, comme Christ le fait pour l’Église, parce que nous sommes membres de son corps. C’est pourquoi l’homme quittera son père et sa mère, et s’attachera à sa femme, et les deux deviendront une seule chair. Ce mystère est grand ; je dis cela par rapport à Christ et à l’Église. Du reste, que chacun de vous aime sa femme comme lui-même, et que la femme respecte son mari."
L'amour conjugal est un reflet de cet amour du Christ pour l'Église, cela signifie selon une échelle de degré :

• 1) nous pouvons entrevoir concrètement cet amour du Christ pour l'Église d'après notre expérience de la vie conjugale
• 2) mais surtout notre amour conjugal doit être compris à la mesure de l'amour du Christ et doit le prendre comme modèle
• 3) tout amour, s'il veut se réaliser, demeurer véridique, doit s'enraciner, prendre source dans l'amour du Christ.

Le monde, restauré dans l'Église, est destiné à devenir l'épouse de Dieu ; restauration permise par la Marie, la Mère de Dieu. La vocation du mariage concerne le monde et l'Église, car elle concerne la vocation du monde et de l'Église, de tout chrétien : suivre le Christ.

 Mariage orthodoxe en Sierra Leone. Le prêtre est le Père Themi Adams. Photo d'ici.

Fondements bibliques

La présence du Christ aux Noces de Cana, où il fit son premier miracle, dans l'Évangile selon saint Jean, est interprété par l'Église orthodoxe comme le signe manifeste, non seulement que le mariage est en accord avec la volonté de Dieu (au contraire de ce qu'ont pu affirmer certains courants gnostiques, par exemple), mais qu'il est l'objet d'une bénédiction spéciale de sa part.
Le fondement de l'union conjugal est notamment donnée par Saint Paul dans l'Épître aux Éphésiens, selon l'amour du Christ pour 'Église (5, 31-32) : "C’est pourquoi l’homme quittera son père et sa mère, et s’attachera à sa femme, et les deux deviendront une seule chair. Ce mystère est grand ; je dis cela par rapport à Christ et à l’Église."

Office du Mariage

 

Les nôces de Cana

 

Pour le chrétien orthodoxe, l'office du mariage est la reconnaissance officielle par l'Église de l'unité du couple, une image créée de l'amour de Dieu, qui est éternelle, unique, indivisible et sans fin. L'Église ancienne reconnaissait simplement l'expression d'amour mutuel du couple dans l'Église, et leur union était bénie par leur participation mutuelle à la Sainte Eucharistie. Il est interdit à un couple vivant en concubinage de venir communier à la Sainte Eucharistie ; mais si cela devait se produire, ils seront alors considéré par l'Église Orthodoxe comme engagés devant Dieu, et devront au plus tôt recevoir le sacrement du mariage. Lorsque l'Office du mariage s'est développé dans l'Église, il fut modelé d'après les Offices de Baptême et de Chrismation. On s'y adresse au couple de la même manière qu'à la personne individuelle dans le Baptême. Ils confessent leur Foi et leur amour de Dieu. Ils sont introduits dans l'église en procession. On prie sur eux et on les bénit. Ils écoutent la Parole de Dieu.
L'Office ne comporte ni voeux ni serments. En essence, il est le "baptême et la confirmation" de l'amour humain par Dieu en Christ dans le Saint Esprit. Il est la déification de l'amour humain dans la divine perfection et l'unité du Royaume éternel de Dieu, tel que révélé et donné à l'homme en l'Église. Il n'y a pas de "légalisme" dans le Sacrement Orthodoxe du mariage. Ce n'est pas un contrat juridique, c'est un lien spirituel.
La cérémonie du mariage est divisée en 2 parties, auparavant elles avaient lieu séparément, mais à présent [en Amérique] elles sont célébrées ensemble. 

Mariages orthodoxes au Burundi. Le prêtre est l'évêque Innocentios du Burundi et Rwanda. Photo d'ici.

L'Office des Fiançailles

Lors de l'Office des Fiançailles, l'élément central de la cérémonie, c'est la bénédiction et l'échange des alliances. Les anneaux sont bénis par le prêtre au Nom du Père, du Fils et du Saint Esprit. Le couple échange alors les alliances, prenant l'anneau de la fiancée et le plaçant au doigt du fiancé et vice-versa. Ensuite ils se les échangent à nouveau, symbolisant que chaque époux sera constamment complémentaire et enrichissant l'autre par l'union. C'est aussi un symbole extérieur qu'ils s'unissent dans le mariage de leur propre volonté et libre consentement. C'est célébré dans le vestibule (narthex) de l'église, avant la procession d'entrée dans la nef de l'église.

L'Office du Couronnement

La deuxième partie est la cérémonie du Couronnement, dans laquelle la tête des époux est couronnée par le prêtre. Dans la tradition Russe, les couronnes sont en or ou en argent, alors que la tradition Grecque utilise des couronnes de feuilles et de fleurs.
Les couronnes sont des couronnes de joie, mais aussi des couronnes de martyre, car le mariage implique le sacrifice de soi accompli par chaque partie.
A la fin de la célébration, le couple nouvellement marié boit de la même coupe de vin. Cette coupe commune est un symbole du fait qu'à partir de ce moment-là, ils feront vie commune. Cela rappelle aussi le miracle à la fête des noces à Cana en Galilée. 

 Mariages orthodoxes au Burundi. Photos d'ici & ici.

Mariages mixtes

Le Sacrement Chrétien du mariage ne saurait être donné qu'à ceux qui appartiennent à l'Église; à savoir uniquement pour les baptisés communiants.

Veuves et veufs

La tradition Orthodoxe Chrétienne encourage veuves et veufs à rester fidèles à leur défunt conjoint, car il est mort à ce monde mais vivant en Christ.

Divorce

L'Orthodoxie regarde le lien du mariage comme étant indissoluble, et elle condamne la rupture de mariage comme étant un péché et un mal. L'Église Orthodoxe permet le divorce et le remariage, par exception, une concession nécessaire au péché humain. Tout en condamnant le péché, l'Église désire aider les pécheurs et leur accorder une autre chance, dans un acte d'oikonomia. Lorsqu'un mariage a entièrement cessé d'exister dans les faits, l'Église Orthodoxe regarde la réalité en face avec philanthropia (bienveillance et amour). 

Mariage orthodoxe en Ouganda. La photo à partir d'ici.

Fondements bibliques interdisant le divorce

Il a été dit d’autre part : "Quiconque répudiera sa femme, qu’il lui remette un acte de divorce. Eh bien moi je vous dis : Tout homme qui répudie sa femme, hormis le cas de prostitution, l’expose à l’adultère ; et quiconque épouse une répudiée, commet un adultère." (Matthieu 5, 31-32)

Des Pharisiens s’approchèrent de lui et lui dirent, pour le mettre à l’épreuve : "Est-il permis de répudier sa femme pour n’importe quel motif ?" Il répondit : "N’avez-vous pas lu que le Créateur, dès l’origine, les fit homme et femme, et qu’il a dit : Ainsi donc l’homme quittera son père et sa mère pour s’attacher à sa femme, et les deux ne feront qu’une seule chair ? Ainsi ils ne sont plus deux, mais une seule chair. Eh bien ce que Dieu a uni, l’homme ne doit point le séparer." - "Pourquoi donc, lui disent-ils, Moïse a-t-il prescrit de donner un acte de divorce quand on répudie ?" - "C’est, leur dit-il, en raison de votre dureté de cœur que Moïse vous a permis de répudier vos femmes mais dès l’origine il n’en fut pas ainsi. Or je vous le dit : Quiconque répudie sa femme — pas pour prostitution — et en épouse une autre, commet un adultère."
Les disciples lui disent : "Si telle est la condition de l’homme envers la femme, il n’est pas expédient de se marier." Il leur dit : " Tous ne comprennent pas ce langage, mais ceux-là à qui c’est donné. Il y a, en effet, des eunuques qui sont nés ainsi du sein de leur mère, il y a des eunuques qui le sont devenus par l’action des hommes, et il y a des eunuques qui se sont eux-mêmes rendus tels à cause du Royaume des Cieux. Qui peut comprendre, qu’il comprenne." (Matthieu 19, 3-12)

Second mariage

L'Église Orthodoxe enseigne qu'une seconde union matrimoniale ne saurait jamais être identique au premier. Dans l'Office de célébration d'un remariage, certaines des éléments joyeux sont omis et remplacés par des prières pénitentielles.

Vie de famille

• "Raising Children With Christ, Compassion, and Commitment", par le p. Peter E. Gillquist (Again Magazine and Beliefnet)

Voir aussi

• Directives pastorales pour les mariages (en anglais)

http://orthodoxwiki.org/Pastoral_Guidelines#Weddings

D'autres lectures (en anglais)

• On Marriage and Family Life by St. John Chrysostom. (Crestwood, New York: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 1997.) ISBN 9780913836866
• Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective by Fr. John Meyendorff. (Crestwood, New York: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 2000.) ISBN 9780913836057
• Preserve Them, O Lord by Fr. John Mack. (Ben Lomond, California: Conciliar Press, 1996.) ISBN 1888212012
• Preparing for Marriage (Marriage in the Orthodox Church, v. 1) by Dr. Peter M. Kalellis. (Westfield, New Jersey: Ecumenical Publications, 1984.)
• Holy Matrimony (Marriage in the Orthodox Church, v. 2) by Dr. Peter M. Kalellis. (Westfield, New Jersey: Ecumenical Publications, 1984.)
• After the Honeymoon: How to Maintain a Happy Marriage by Dr. Peter M. Kalellis. (Pittsburgh: Syndesmos, 1999.)
• Attending to Your Marriage: A Resource for Christian Couples by Fr. Charles Joanides. (Minneapolis: Light and Life Publishing Company, 2006.) ISBN 1880971992

Liens

• http://stmaterne.blogspot.com/2008/01/mariage-orthodoxie-directives.html

Références

1. Alexandre Schmemann, Pour la vie du monde, les sacrements et l'orthodoxie, Presses Saint-Serge - Institut de théologie orthodoxe, Paris, 2007, p. 89
2. Alexandre Schmemann, Pour la vie du monde, les sacrements et l'orthodoxie, Presses Saint-Serge - Institut de théologie orthodoxe, Paris, 2007, p. 90
 
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